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August 05, 2005
Awkward News for Hexakosioihexekontahexaphobics
Not sure how much to trust this -- it arrives from MTV News, whose last major scoop featured presidential underwear preferences -- but 666 may not be the number of the Beast after all. 616 appears to have similar shrouded-in-evil properties.
The very best part of the article is its uneasy mix of hermenuetical study and dopehead rock stars. What, MTV asks with grave concern, does this bode for Metallica? This focus leads to a brilliant moment:
Alan Mitchell, a theology professor at Georgetown University, said there's no reason the discovery should detract from the popularity of 666. "In my opinion, it doesn't change anything," he said. "The most reliable manuscripts have the number as 666. There's no reason to change the text of the New Testament, and there's no reason to change the tattoos."
Also, judging from U.S. area codes, the new Mother of All Whores appears to be Grand Rapids, Michigan. Yes, that Grand Rapids. The home of Calvin College. Guess that liberalism's gonna get a whole lot worse up there.
| By mesh | 11:59 AM
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